These are from our entry for jaylake's contest for the release of Green, which will be funnier if you look at the book's cover. (Pomegranates are out of season.)

kehrli had the idea (and bought Pom).
criada scouted the location (and bought Pom).
kaerfel provided supplies (and bought Pom).
And csinman dressed in drag and dangled by his bare feet from a tree (and also bought Pom).

Tweets for March 18, 2009:

* 14:28 Man, I must look like crap. A hobo just offered me food. #
* 14:48 I just got attacked by a pair of aggressive dogs. Luckily I'm a badass, I chased them off, then RIPPED THE OWNERS A NEW PAIR OF ASSHOLES. #
* 14:50 ... You know, one for each dog. #
* 15:06 15 min later, I run into one owner at the grocery store by the broccoli. It would be funnier if I ran into him by the bandages. #

( It occurred to me you might not want to see my tiny little dime-sized wound. Wuss. )

I don't need a shot or anything, because my untorn jeans are a dog bite condom. The wound is just from the pressure of its teeth pinching my skin, not the skin actually being punctured. I'm actually kind of glad it happened; it taught me a few things, and best of all, I got to use that subject line, which has been cracking me up for like twenty minutes. Hahaha!

Gimme your animal bite stories.

Caption this for a mystery prize.

Warning: Mystery prize may hurt your feelings, draw blood, be illegal in the Virgin Islands, damage your vehicle, contain poisons/allergens/preservatives, and has no warranty.

Only one part of me is Photoshopped.

...Yes, I actually found hair dye that can turn anyone standing too close into a mutant ninja turtle. (And you can't see it in the photo, but I found eye glitter that matches perfectly.)

I was going to explain, but then I figured you could use a touch of mystery in your Friday.

You remember when I got attacked a couple months ago? Well, I wore armor to the battle this time:

...And the stew is freakin' amazing!

Thank you, davidlevine. I don't know how I was even tricking myself into thinking I was happy before I'd seen this, but my life is now definitely complete.

And now, without an LJ cut, I'll complete everyone else's lives whether they like it or not.

SFO mailed my camera back, so I have my photos from the convention a month ago. And this is my favorite picture of myself to date, taken in my friend vebelfetzer's kitchen. It's so quintessentially me; I can't be bothered to shave my jaw, but I'm on the eyebrows. Also: the steampunk/pirate aesthetic, gender tomfoolery, and I'm wearing a T-shirt for my favorite TV show while standing in the kitchen of someone I would consider for the place of "friend I get to take with me for eternity on a deserted island."

( 'Why is SHE that friend?!' you ask... )

( My celebrity lookalikes... )

...I'm like 25% Zoolander, and %13 billionairess!

ETA: HAHAAHAHAHAHA! Look what it thinks of ( David Bowie... )

I've been editing Noble Quest and just started writing again today, but I'd rather share something from Frozen Roses... I haven't in awhile.

Frozen Roses...
Words since last update: I can't count them; they're on Arithon (~500, perhaps?) Whoa, this is weird--I just imported & counted, and it's exactly 500 new words.
Words total: 11,129
Reason for stopping: My butt was going numb.
Favorite:

Wanes, Pearson, Coulthurst, Carr... I made my way down the line, watching my sneakers press into the wet April grass. When I looked up, a girl my size gazed down at me. She was wrought in a different stone than the kind upon which she walked. Pale grey, in a flowing dress, with ringlets and only one hand. Whatever her right fingers had indicated, they had been knocked off by a vandal so long ago that lichen had grown across the stub.

Mom found me stroking the broken angel's innocent, delicate foot with bare fingers, my glove forgotten on the ground.

I do it again today, like I do every time I visit The Angel. Some day, I will wear away her dead, cold toes with my living fingers. She cannot move or defend herself when we strike her; with a hammer I could take every delicate toe, the remaining fingers where they clutch roses and peonies, even her budding breasts and her sorrow-sculpted face. But I'm not the bastard who violently destroyed her hand; I mutilate her slowly, with love.

Abusing my power:
It's aliiive!: Sam hates zombie movies. (I was surprised too!)
Embarrassment: I keep forgetting Alaska doesn't have warm, sunny Octobers. I have backspaced over sunny days several times now.

11139 / 17000 words. 66% done!