"Definitely shop this elsewhere because it's quite a good piece of writing for the right market."
So far, I have never received a form rejection for a short story, knock on wood. (There's more to the letter than what I quoted.)
I don't actually think this means anything special about my work--more likely, it's something special about which markets I choose to submit to--but it's fun the way any record is. There is the constant suspense of knowing that any day now, it's going to be broken!
I was the oldest one at my friend Clare's birthday party, and this is what happens when I hang out with young whippersnappers who can't legally drink yet but are doing so anyway. Contrary to what you might believe, I asked for that mustache so John wouldn't be lonely. I was completely sober, and have never been otherwise.